The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

We are right smack dab in the middle of the Holiday Season for 2011.  Houses are decorated, gifts are wrapped, and plans with friends and family are being made to spend time together.  Why is it then, that so many people get hung up on being offended?  I've seen several emails and links about how Christmas traditions and the holiday itself were "stolen" from the pagans and that they'd "like their holiday back" or that mainstream folks have no business celebrating with holly, trees, mistletoe, caroling, or any number of other traditions, especially since they don't know the significance of those things.  Really?  First of all, pagan can be many things.  At its heart, it's someone who doesn't follow the religious beliefs of the main world religions.  Some people who identify with paganism don't follow any religious beliefs at all while others are very religious in their interpretation.  Not all religious pagans worship the same gods.  So, who exactly "wants their religion back?"  Did the Christian Priests absorb the traditions of native peoples into their holiday?  You bet they did.  The new gods took the place of the old ones many times in many cultures and this is no exception.  But, there are more of us than you might think who do know exactly where our traditions come from and celebrate them with gusto.  I've also seen a cynical message that states that the holidays are horrible because by encouraging people to be kind at this time of year, it makes it OK to treat others wretchedly the rest of the year.  You've got to be kidding me.  I don't think even Evel Knieval could make that jump!  Who thinks like this?  But my favorite are the people who rant, rave, and shake with suppressed (and not so suppressed) rage against the "Happy Holidays" greeting.  I've heard someone say that the only appropriate greeting for December 25 is "Merry Christmas" and I've heard others say that using "Happy Holidays" is un-American.  I've received invites to boycott stores that have signs that say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" and I've been forced to listen to people rail against the "pc bullshit" that's being forced down their throats and denying their children their rightful heritage.  Seriously?  A store with a sign that says "Happy Holidays" is denying your kids their rightful heritage?  What planet are you on?  First of all, the word holiday comes from holy day, first used in the 12th century to describe a day free from work in recognition of a holy celebration.  Secondly, there are many holidays being celebrated this time of year.  Remember the song The 12 Days of Christmas?  Those 12 days (Christmastide) run from December 25 to January 5 and during that time is St. Stephen's Day (Boxing Day) and Childermas (Feast of the Innocents) which are celebrated in varying ways around the world. Not to mention New Years which we celebrate lavishly in this country.  Let's not forget the big three - Christmas (December 25), Hanukkah (December 20-28 this year. So much for "Merry Christmas" being the only appropriate greeting.) and Kwanza (December 26-January 1).  Acknowledging all of them does not take away from any of them.  I say "Happy Holidays" because I celebrate multiple holidays during this time of year and I don't always know which holiday other people celebrate.  Whatever greeting someone is kind enough to offer me during this season of celebration, I smile and wish them the same.  How hard is it to focus on the best things this season has to offer like celebration of family, culture, and community, freedom to worship as we choose or not to worship at all if that's our choice, being generous to those who aren't as fortunate as we are, and hope for the coming new year?  People behaving badly. 

I'm no Pollyanna, but I'm no Negative Nelly either

We all have bad days.  The kind of days where you wish you could just go back to bed and pull the covers over your head and get a do over.  (I had one of those days yesterday!  If it could go wrong, it did!)  Most of the time, those days are few and far between.  Why is it then that so many people like to wallow around in negativity?  I know several people who have decent jobs that like to gripe and complain continuously about how horrible it is to work at XYZ Corporation while so many others, who are willing to work, can't find a job at all.  Doesn't matter what they get paid, it's never enough. Doesn't matter who they work with, they're all jerks.  Doesn't matter who the client is, they're all idiots.  Doesn't matter what the schedule is, it's never good enough.  Really?  Ever stop to think maybe the problem isn't your job, it's you?  Same goes for those  women and men who complain endlessly about their relationships (or lack of) with the opposite sex.  All they can talk about is how everyone is a deadbeat or a user or selfish or shallow or just doesn't understand them.  Hmm.  Ever think that maybe if you weren't so bitter and judgmental all the time, you might attract a better type of partner or keep the one you have?  Just a thought.  Family; some days you'd kill for them, some days you just want to kill them.  I understand, really, I do.  I have some issues of my own and then some, but eventually you have to stop blaming your childhood for the direction your life is taking as an adult.  You do have choices. I'm not talking about people who were abused as children. (I am so not qualified to give anyone my opinion on that subject!)  I am talking about the rest of us that maybe had or still have a crummy relationship with family.  Guess what?  There are a lot of us!  You don't have a monopoly on that!  How long are you going to drag around that baggage? Or should I say let it drag you around?  And then there are the people who continuously deride anything and anyone they don't agree with.  Their mantra is "Accept me the way I am!" and they will complain bitterly and loudly if everyone doesn't do just that.  Problem is, they aren't willing to do that with everyone else.  Someone else's political views are different?  They're uninformed and ignorant!  Someone else's religious views are different?  They're narrow minded and ignorant!  Someone's decision to have kids is different?  They're selfish and ignorant!  Someone's sexual orientation is different?  They're not open minded and ignorant!  Funny thing is all these examples work regardless of which side of the argument you're on!   You don't have to agree with other people's opinions, but you also don't have to attack them at every opportunity either.  I like to think of people like this as Energy Vampires because their constant negativity just sucks the life right out of everyone who's around them.  No one wants to be around people who drag them down.  People behaving badly. 

No Service In Customer Service

Everyone has a horror story or two about receiving abysmal customer service somewhere.  Kids that don't have a clue what customer service is and really don't care, companies that locate their call centers in other countries, I could go on and on.  However, there are some places where customer service is so bad, it takes on epic proportions.  The DMV comes to mind.  Since everyone has to register their vehicles, we all end up there sooner or later.  There are specific requirements to getting your vehicle registered and these requirements are posted at the DMV itself as well as on their website.  Invariably some poor soul will show up, stand in line for an hour (since no one's in a hurry who works there) only to discover, once he reaches the window, that he's forgotten one of those required pieces.  It's his own fault that he didn't bring everything, but since there's no sense of urgency by any of the employees, a huge chunk of his time has been lost.  Once, while I was in line I saw this happen.  The man didn't get angry, he just sighed and left.  Instead of moving to the next person in line, the clerk came out from behind the counter with a highlighter and began highlighting the poster that listed what was needed, all the while loudly berating the "stupid people" who forgot and wasted her time.  I guess making us wait longer while she colored, didn't count.  Another place with wretched customer service is the Court House.  The County Clerk's Office in particular.  Once I went in to pay my property taxes in person since they had lost my check. (That's a whole other story!) At 2:30 in the afternoon, they were having a baby shower for one of the girls who worked in the office.  When I finally got a clerk to come up and help me, she acted as if I, and the other people in line, were a huge interruption of her day.  She actually complained that she wasn't getting to see the Mom-to-be open her gifts.  Really?  And my tax dollars are paying your salary?  The one that takes the cake is a local hospital in my area.  The back story is I live in a city that straddles two states.  My cell phone number is the same as a pediatric doctor, who deals with very, very sick kids, except for the area code.  I'm in one state, he's in another.  I get lots of calls from parents who are trying desperately to get in touch with their child's doctor.  I always call them back and direct them to the right place.  Not long ago, I saw that I had gotten a call from a number I didn't recognize and the message was garbled but I understood enough to know it was about a sick kid.  I called the number and got the operator for this particular hospital that will remain nameless.  I explained why I was calling and the woman interrupted me to say she couldn't help me.  I again tried to explain and she again interrupted, this time demanding to know if I was a patient.  When I said no and finally got to explain why I was calling, she very brusquely told me that there was no way to know who had called me since it was a hospital with many phone locations.  Basically her attitude was that she couldn't help me and didn't care.  I managed to keep my cool, thanked her and said I hoped the people who had called were eventually able to figure it out.  She said "Whatever" and hung up on me.  I sent a nasty letter to the hospital that afternoon.  You can't help me?  OK, I can deal with that, but there's absolutely no reason to be rude about it. Would it kill you to pretend to care? People behaving badly.

The Land Of Plenty (Plenty Wasteful)

The United States is a very rich country.  We have an abundance of resources and food that many other countries don't have.  In many cultures around the world, being overweight is a sign of prosperity because the majority of people in those countries are so poor they are never able to get enough food to be overweight.  Peter Menzel and Faith D'Aluisio created a book called "Hungry Planet" that is a photographic study of 30 families from 24 countries.  One of the most insightful things about this book are the portraits of each family surrounded by a week's worth of the food they consume.  You can see a small sample of these portraits at "What the World Eats, Part 1" found at http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1626519,00.html. You should go there now.  It will open your eyes.  In our country, obesity is a national epidemic.  We come up with specialized diets that cut out entire food groups so we can lose weight.  We go to the gym where we walk, bike, and climb to nowhere to burn off the excess calories we consume.  Our grocery stores are packed with huge varieties of food that have to be shipped in from far off places so we can have "fresh" produce at any time of the year.  And yet, Americans THROW AWAY 27% of the food they buy.  An average family of four will THROW AWAY almost 122 pounds of food in a month.  In 1997, the Department of Agriculture estimated that Americans wasted 96.4 billion pounds of the 356 billion pounds of edible food.  That was the last year there was a study done on food waste.   Due to the state of the economy, donations to food pantries are down 9% but people showing up at food pantries for help has risen 20%.  In 2008, the Department of Agriculture reported that 1 out of every 21 American households were "Very Food Insecure."  That means that, at times during the year, the food intake of household members was reduced and their normal eating patterns were disrupted because the household lacked money and other resources for food. This means that people were hungry, "the uneasy or painful sensation caused by want of food."  I work part time in the food service industry and the amount of food that ends up in the garbage can is criminal.  My place of employment offers bottomless fries with most of our entrees.  I cannot tell you how often people will demand more fries and eat just 2 or 3.  The rest go into the trash.  The other day a family came in and the teenaged boy wanted fries as an appetizer.  He ate 2 baskets before his meal came out.  He ended up eating about a quarter of his meal and didn't want a to go box for the remainder because he "doesn't eat leftovers."  It also amazes me when parents let their little kids drink 2 or 3 kid cups of soda before their meal.  Kid cups are 12 ounces, the same size as a full can of soda.  Then, when their meal comes out, the kids take 1 or 2 bites and are done.  Guess where the rest of their meal goes?  You guessed it, the trash.  And these are the people that complain the loudest over the menu's prices.  Guess what?  It's not so expensive if you actually eat what you order!  A friend of mine lives near our city's biggest Farmer's Market.  A few days ago he posted a picture on Facebook of a dumpster full of produce that had been thrown away.  People won't buy produce that isn't "perfect" and they can't give it away once it's very, very ripe.  Into the trash it goes.  Drive through my neighborhood on trash day and see the food that gets thrown away.  How many hungry people could we feed on the food that we so carelessly and thoughtlessly discard?  I hear people complain all the time about the economy and the price of groceries.  People who do not know what hunger is.  Here's a thought: How about you stop throwing 27% of your food budget into the garbage.  People behaving badly.

A Flag T-Shirt Isn't Patriotism

Having just come off a three day weekend celebrating our nation's Independence with cookouts, picnics, trips to the lake, festivals and fireworks, I've once again been made aware of a few annoying habits people have when it comes to "patriotic" holidays.  I see them on Veterans Day, Memorial Day and Independence Day. These annoying habits reduce true patriotism to phony, jingoist, flag waving without any substance.  First of all, I am horrified that so many people don't have any idea what these holidays are really about.  Independence Day is the anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence where 56 men basically put on paper that they were committing treason against England.  (Punishment for treason was death.)  By doing so, they put in motion a series of bloody events that made us a free country, free to govern ourselves.  Veterans Day started as Armistice Day, celebrating the end of World War I, and is now a day honoring all veterans of all wars.  Memorial Day is a day to remember and honor all soldiers who made the ultimate sacrifice and gave their lives in war.  Flying the American Flag on your car on one of these holidays does not make you patriotic.  It's the same as flying the flag of your favorite sports team on your car on game day.  Patriotism is much more than that.  I also can't stand the people who see these holidays as simply a three day weekend where they can go to the lake or throw a big BBQ where the kids run around with super soakers and the adults look at it as an excuse to get drunk and fire off bottle rockets.  Really?  People gave their lives, both soldiers and civilians, so we have the right to elect our government instead of having a monarchy and all its trappings forced on us by hereditary succession.  We live in peace, so we're able to pretty much do whatever we want to do without worrying about showing our papers at checkpoints.  How hard is it to take a moment and remember why these are holidays?  How hard is it to teach this to your kids?  I also can't stand the people who use these holidays as an excuse to push their political agenda.  For instance, I kept seeing posts on fb about The Pledge of Allegiance with the line "My generation grew up reciting this every morning in school with my hand on my HEART. They no longer do it for fear of offending someone! Let's see how many AMERICANS will re-post this and not care about offending someone."  Here are some facts about the Pledge of Allegiance.  It was written in 1892, by Francis Bellamy, a Baptist minister and Christian Socialist.  (Look that one up!)  It's original form was "I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."  In 1923, "my flag" became "to the flag of the United States of America" to avoid confusion for immigrants between their birth countries and the United States.  In 1940, the Supreme Court ruled that public school students (mainly Jehovah's Witnesses who see a flag salute to be idolatry) who did not wish to recite the pledge could be forced to.  Against their will.  A wave of intimidation and violence against Jehovah's Witnesses followed.  (Do we really want to go in that direction again?)  Then in 1943, the Supreme Court reversed their ruling stating "that public school students are not required to say the Pledge, concluding that "compulsory unification of opinion" violates the First Amendment." In a later opinion, the Court held that students are also not required to stand for the Pledge.  It wasn't until 1954 that the words "under God" were added on the basis that Abraham Lincoln used the words "that the nation shall, under God, have a new birth of freedom" in his Gettysburg address.  Most people who rant and rave about how the tradition of the Pledge of Allegiance is being trampled on, don't have the first clue about its history.  And, it has NOTHING to do with Independence Day, Memorial Day or Veterans Day.  It doesn't matter who is in the White House or which party has majority in congress, we're ALL Americans and we all should respect and honor our National Holidays instead of just "celebrating" them.  People behaving badly.

Cell Phone Misuse

Cell phones.  We all have them and they make life a thousand times easier.  Need to call home because you're running late?  Need to check your bank balance?  Need to make a doctor's appointment before they close?  No problem!  Cell phones make it possible.  I remember when we didn't have cell phones and to make any calls away from work or home you had to stop at a pay phone.  Of course, that was back when every gas station, mall and restaurant actually had pay phones.  You had to dig out a dime. (Because there was no such thing as dollar thingys that spit your bill back at you if it was wrinkled.)  When the cost went up to a quarter, people were outraged!  Ah, the good old days.  Now, we can make a call wherever we are.  Sometimes that's not a good thing.  Once I was in line waiting to board a plane and the woman in front of me was having a long conversation with someone who apparently was located at our destination.  Everyone around her was treated to the details of her hotel (which smelled funny), the exorbitant price of her latte, and how she needed to get her brows done.  When the conversation turned to where she and the mystery caller should go for dinner that night, the man in front of her turned around and asked if she needed any recommendations from the rest of us.  Apparently she didn't realize that she was holding everyone else hostage to her conversation.  Ever notice those signs at some coffee shops that state they won't wait on you if you're talking on your cell phone?  I always tip them extra because there are few things worse than being stuck in line behind someone who is trying to order a specialty coffee drink using the Mime Method.  Really?  You can't be bothered to put your call on hold long enough to order and instead resort to hand signals, eye rolls and exaggerated silent lip movements?  And you expect the barrista to get it right?  I work with a lot of high school and college kids in my part time second job and, almost without exception, every single one of them is constantly on their phone.  Sending texts, receiving texts, checking Facebook, playing games, etc.  Did I mention we work for the public?  Half the time they aren't even aware of what they're doing and they don't seem to grasp the concept that our customers CAN SEE THEM!  They're always so puzzled when one of those customers gets upset about the crappy customer service they're giving because instead of taking care of the customer, they're on their phone!  It's not an age thing you twits!  It's a customer service thing!  I hate people who find it necessary to be on their phones during presentations, at church or anytime someone else is speaking.  It's just plain rude.  Were you raised by wolves?  What really annoys me are the people who "drive" and use their cell phone.  Notice I put the word drive in quotation marks?  That's because when you're on your phone yapping or, God forbid, texting, you are incapable of driving!  Today, for instance, I was on my daily commute and for 5 miles there were signs stating that the right lane over an upcoming bridge was closed.  Everyone got over except for one bozo who was too busy jabbering on his phone to pay attention to the signs.  He just about caused an accident when he suddenly realized his lane was ending in 15 feet and veered over, cutting off a semi.  (Those things don't stop on a dime you know.)  Once I watched a teenage girl swerve all over the road, back and forth into oncoming traffic.  When I was finally able to get around her, I saw she was busy texting instead of busy driving.  I hope, for her parent's sake, that she's stopped doing that because if she doesn't manage to kill herself, she's going to kill someone else.  No conversation is worth dying for.  People behaving badly.

Driver's Ed Isn't On The Curriculum

So many people believe driving is a right instead of the privilege it really is.  They get behind the wheel of their vehicle and suddenly they are King of the Road.  (In their own minds at any rate.)  They have no thought for the other drivers who are sharing the road with them and do completely stupid and dangerous things.  I live in a small town that has narrow turning lanes on the main thoroughfare.  They are narrower than the driving lanes, but they are still plenty wide enough for even the widest vehicle.  It amazes me how many people can't be bothered to pull completely into the turn lane, leaving the rear end of their vehicle hanging out in traffic.  If they're afraid that they're going to be hit by oncoming traffic, they're completely oblivious to the fact that the traffic behind them is about to ram up their rear.  Or that they've stopped traffic behind them while everyone else has to wait for them to make their turn.  What about the people who don't turn on their headlights when it's pouring the rain?  If you have to turn on your windshield wipers, you need to turn on your lights.  It has nothing to do with whether you can see, it's all about making sure other drivers can see you!  Especially if you drive a white, grey, beige or silver vehicle.  (That would be the majority of us!)  It's also the law.  I drive 45 minutes to work every day and most of my commute is on the interstate.  It drives me crazy that some people drive continuously in the left lane.  I've heard Troopers say that this is the biggest cause of interstate accidents after drunk driving.  If people are passing you on the right, get over!  I don't care if you think everyone else is driving too fast or you have your cruise control set, the left lane is the passing lane.  That means you use it to pass slower traffic, not to take a Sunday drive.  Another peeve is people who can't make a left turn correctly.  Instead of squaring off and turning into their lane of the side street, they cut across the whole mouth of the road.  I can't tell you how many times I've almost been hit while I've been waiting to turn right.  And the offenders usually look at me like I have no business being on my side of the road!  If it's so hard to turn left with the power steering we have in cars today, I'd hate to see how these people would fare in the cars I grew up in.  You actually had to steer those boats!  The one that really annoys me is people who don't use turn signals.  I'll be driving along behind someone and suddenly, with no warning, they'll slam on their brakes before they make a turn.  Using your turn signal lets everyone else know what you're about to do.  It's helpful on the interstate as well.  If you have your turn signal on, I get the idea that you want to move over and I will let you!  They come standard on all vehicles and are pretty idiot proof to use.  It doesn't matter if you're pulling into your neighborhood, your kids are fighting or you're yapping on your phone, use them!  It also doesn't count if you signal while you're making the turn.  That's just being lazy.  People driving badly.

Beyond Discourteous

Courtesy and manners were a big deal when I was growing up.  In school, at church and at home we were taught to say please and thank you, yes ma'am/sir no ma'am/sir,  open doors for women and the elderly, take off our hats inside, offer to carry heavy things for our elders, take our muddy shoes off outside and to never sit on a made bed among many other little things that made life easier for those around us.  It was hard work learning everything and sometimes we struggled, but in the end, most of us turned out well mannered, courteous adults.  Boy, those days are well and truly gone.  Self esteem has become the big deal.  We now have a generation of young adults that have no understanding of courtesy because instead of learning manners and how to behave, their self esteem was fostered and catered to.  They have an inflated sense of self worth and self importance that borders on the ridiculous and no awareness or empathy for those around them.  I used to manage the cafe at a large bookstore where we sold pastries, sandwiches and made coffee drinks among other things.  One day, while filling an order, one of my employees cut his hand very badly with a knife.  Blood was everywhere, running down his arm and pooling in the floor.  He and I were the only two there at the time so of course we stopped everything and applied pressure to the wound before sending him to the hospital to get stitches.  (He ended up getting 16.)  The "gentleman" whose order we were making, demanded that we finish making his smoothie and do first aid later.  He then had the audacity to ask if he could get it for free since he had been inconvenienced by having to wait.  My sister is on crutches right now because she has a broken foot.  The other day as she was walking (hobbling) into a restaurant, the couple in front of her let the door slam on her. Both the outer door and the inner one.  Seriously, how can you be so unaware of your surroundings that you drop a door on a handicapped person twice?!  At another location, she was standing on one foot, getting her crutches out of the back seat of the car when a guy whipped into the parking place next to her and banged her with his door when he got out.  He never made eye contact or apologized, even when he realized she was on crutches.  Nope, he just kept on going.  My husband works as a customer service rep for a company that makes GPS units.  Yesterday our area had severe storms with several tornadoes.  Many buildings were evacuated, storm sirens were shrieking and the National Weather Service was broadcasting instructions for seeking shelter immediately.  His department had to tell the people on their calls that they had a tornado approaching and were being evacuated to the basement.  Many of his co-workers actually had people get pissy at them and demand that they fix their problem before they evacuated.  Really?  You think updating your mapping is more important than someone's life?  How self-centered are you? People behaving badly. 

Kids In Grown-up Places

I love being a grown-up.  I love being able to do what I want to when I want to, within reason of course.  I can go where I want to go, eat what I want to eat and go to bed when I want to go to bed.  (We won't talk about the fact that I'm usually unconscious by 10:00!)  Because I'm a grown-up, some of the places I like to go are grown-up places, meaning places meant for grown-ups.  Why is it then that I see so many kids at these places?  The gym comes to mind.  Too often I'll see a little kid running through, climbing on equipment or playing in the water fountain while Mom or Dad is working out, oblivious to their child's antics.  Not only is it annoying for other people working out, it's also dangerous.  Exercise machines and weights aren't toys. A big guy curling 120 pound dumbbells in each hand is going to drop them on the mat next to him without thinking there's a child underfoot.  The kid could be injured, but so could the guy if he tries to "catch" the weights.  Some gyms have a daycare, but if yours doesn't, hire a sitter.  I like to go to some really nice restaurants.  The kinds that have a good wine list, multiple forks, table cloths, a humidor and daily specials created by a chef and recited by the server when they greet my table.  I am stunned whenever I see someone with a kid in one of these places.  I once had the pleasure of listening to a woman at a nearby table complain endlessly that there were no crayons for her child and she just couldn't believe they didn't have chicken tenders on the menu.  Her poor kid looked bored to death and picked at his meal.  Really?  With all the places out there that cater to families with balloons, colorful kid menus, playgrounds and game rooms, why in the world would you drag your child to a place that very obviously isn't kid friendly?  Parties are also a good example of grown-up events that shouldn't have kids in attendance.  For any smart alecs out there, I am not talking about kid's birthday parties, Easter egg hunts, family picnics or the like.  I'm talking about grown-up parties with kegs, dancing, card playing, smoking, wine and/or scotch tasting and maybe a stripper or two.  The invitation will always say "no kids."  Invariably, someone will show up at one of these events with a child in tow and act totally amazed that there aren't any other kids there!  What are they thinking?  Perhaps my biggest inappropriate kid place peeve is the movies.  Again, I'm not talking about Shrek or Kung Fu Panda.  I'm talking about adult movies with adult themes and adult language.  Several years ago  my husband and I went to a first run movie.  The theater was completely full.  In walk a man and his wife carrying an infant and a little boy.  This movie was full of scary creatures and quite a bit of violence in the form of war.  The little boy was terrified (and is probably still in therapy) while the infant screamed the entire 2 1/2 hours.  No one in the theater enjoyed the movie thanks to the thoughtless and selfish people that just had to bring their children.  I realize that many parents work long hours and want to spend as much quality time with their kids as possible, but dragging them to grown-up places and events isn't quality time by any means.  Kids like kid things and kid places. It's the ultimate in selfishness when an adult who has kids doesn't want to change their life in any way and forces their kids along for the ride.  People behaving badly.

Man's Best Friend

For many people, pets are as much a part of their family as the human members.  I'm no exception with my two kitties.  At one time, I had two dogs, three cats and two fish tanks.  We were just a big happy furry, waggy, purry, swimmy bunch!  Most of my friends have pets as well and they often get Christmas gifts from my pets and vice versa.  I even have pictures of other people's pets on my phone.  Owning an animal is a major undertaking.  They must be fed regularly, have checkups and shots, their living spaces need to be cleaned, they need to be groomed and some must be exercised long and often.  Why is it then that some people take on owning an animal without doing any planning or research?  A good friend of mine owns a dog that once belonged to a relative.  This relative was out with her kids one day and came across a group of rescue dogs up for adoption.  She decided on the spot to adopt one, bring it home, toss it out into the back yard with a large dog they already owned and feed them out of the same bowl.  She couldn't understand why the older dog became so aggressive and why the new dog spent all its time cowering in the corner.  Duh!   If my friend hadn't taken the dog, it would have ended up back in the shelter because "it just didn't work out."  I also just love the people who decide to get a pet to "teach their kids responsibility."  That's right, take a little kid who's never been responsible for a single thing in his entire life and has no concept of time and only a shaky concept of consequences and put him in charge of feeding, watering, exercising and cleaning up after a living, breathing creature.  At first it will be fun to take care of the new pet, but after a few days, chances are the kid would rather play than be responsible.  At first it won't be such a big deal to remind him, but after a few weeks, chances are the parents will be sick of nagging.  Best case scenario is the parents end up taking care of the animal.  Worst case scenario is the animal goes to the shelter.  You'd be surprised how many shelters hear this story.  Maybe you should teach your kid responsibility and THEN get a pet.  Just a thought.  Then there are the people who decide to own an exotic pet like a boa constrictor without realizing that they can grow to over 10 feet long and live as long as 30 years and require very specific living conditions and food.  When it gets to be too much, they'll just let the snake go figuring it will go back to its natural environment.  Unfortunately, releasing a boa out into the wild is releasing a new species into the ecosystem resulting in havoc on the existing wildlife and that's if the snake survives.  I knew a girl who decided that she wanted to breed a certain type of hunting dog so she bought a male and female with no clue how to go about breeding them.  Her husband was active duty and they got orders to move, so she took the dogs several miles away and dumped them.  Her rationale was "Someone will find them and give them a good home."  Chances of that happening were pretty slim.  I stopped talking to her after that.  My favorite people are the ones who own a pet for many years and then find out that they're pregnant.  Suddenly, the pet must go!  They post flyers and ads saying things like "Sweet, well behaved pet to good home.  After many years of trying, we're finally pregnant!  We just won't have time for a pet and a new baby."  More animals end up in shelters for this reason than you'd imagine.  People who work in shelters and foster animals in their homes are beyond disgusted at this one.  It's as if the pet was a substitute for a baby and now that there's a real baby, the pet can be disposed of like a disposable camera, disposable contacts and disposable diapers.  Certain countries in other parts of the world eat animals we consider pets.  Sometimes I think their ethics are more honest.  At least they're up front about what they do while people here talk a good game, but treat animals with a cavalier and contemptible attitude.  People behaving badly.

If You're Not Ready To Order, Say So

Americans do like to go out to eat.  We love going to a place where not only will they cook your food and bring it to you, but they'll wash the dishes too!  I'm no exception.  It's a real treat to go out to a nice restaurant with my husband, have a glass of wine and catch up on our day while someone else does all the work.  With fewer and fewer people actually knowing how to cook, there are more and more people wanting to eat out and more and more restaurants to accommodate them.  There is almost an entire generation of kids who's normal is eating out.  It seems as if the only time they get a home cooked meal is Thanksgiving and even that's not a sure thing.  Most people who eat out know how to behave in a public environment, but there are others who seem to believe they are European Nobility who must be waited on hand and foot by the minions who serve them.  It's not uncommon to have a server greet a table with a friendly "Hi, how are you tonight?" and have the diner respond with "Diet Coke" in a monotone without even looking up from the menu.  If the server can make an effort to be friendly, why is it so hard for the person at the table to make the same effort?  Just because you had a bad day at work does not make it OK to be rude.  If you need more time to look over the menu and decide what you'd like, say so. Don't keep the server standing there waiting on you.  It's a sure bet that they have refills to get, another table to greet and someone else wanting to pay their bill.  It's self centered to make them  put all their other tables on hold while you pour over every item on the menu because you're afraid they won't be back at the exact moment you're finally ready to order.  It also amazes me that people seem so surprised when they decide to go out to eat on a Friday or Saturday night and the restaurant is on a wait.  Guess what?  Everyone wants to go out on Friday and Saturday night!  Don't be nasty to the 16 year old girl taking names, it's not her fault you decided to come out at the same time everyone else did.  If the restaurant uses those little vibrating pagers, please don't give it to your toddler to hold while you chat with your friends.  If it goes off, your kid thinks his neat toy just got neater, he has no idea your table is ready.  Chances are if you don't respond after a few pages, they'll give your table to the next name.  We all know how that's going to go over, don't we?  The time quoted to you for your wait is not an exact science either.  It's an educated guess based on how many names are on the list and how long previous tables waited.  If you were quoted 20 minutes and it's been 25, don't get huffy.  Being hateful to a 16 year old is petty.  The host can't make people get up and leave who have decided to camp.  No one cares that you have a four year old in your party who's hungry and cranky.  Your lack of planning doesn't make it anyone else's emergency.  You also need to be aware that you need to give up your table to all the other people waiting when you're finished.  Someone close to me forgets what she's ordered by the time our food arrives.  The poor food runner stands there saying "BBQ Chicken Salad?" while she looks around at everyone else.  When we tell her it's hers, she adamantly denies it.  How do you forget what you ordered in the span of 10 minutes?  If you have a coupon, present it when you order.  If there are restrictions, don't get hateful about it.  Those restrictions are usually printed right on the coupon itself, read it!  I once went to brunch with a group of people I didn't know well.  Two of them  were put on the same ticket and asked for separate checks after the fact.  It was an older system that required a lengthy void procedure so the server just divided their ticket by hand.  Each of them paid by credit card and got a separate receipt, but they acted as if they were massively inconvenienced, complaining loudly.  Really?  You were able to pay separately, so what's the problem?  I won't be going anywhere with them again.  Don't tap your fork on your glass to get the server's attention and don't whistle at them.  You're not in a beer commercial and they're not a dog.  If you ask for something say please.  If you receive something say thank you.  We teach little kids to do this, why is it so difficult for so many adults to do it?  People behaving badly.

Yore has nothing to do with you.

The English language is a confusing, constantly changing labyrinth of words.  So many ways to say things!  So many ways to spell things!  So many big, three dollar words! (Some used here!) I am aware that not everyone has the benefit of having had the inimitable($) Nancy Atchley as an English teacher in 7th grade the way I did, but every American has had some sort of basic instruction in their own language.  Most of us had mandatory instruction for 12 years!   Why is it then that people from other countries who learned English as a second language speak it better than some of us do?  I'm not talking about the people who immigrate here not knowing English (more on that in a second), I'm talking about people who live in another country with a completely different Mother tongue who speak and write English flawlessly while "native" speakers here butcher it.  As for immigrants who can't speak English, ever notice how the people who complain the loudest about having to press 1 for English are the ones who can't speak or write it themselves?  Always a problem on resumes and job applications, the advent($) of social networks like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter highlight how many people don't have a grasp on the written language.  Some of my favorites are Heterographs, words that sound alike but have different meanings and different spellings.  They're (they are), their (belongs to them) and there (not here) are frequently interchanged along with to (direction or point), too (also or more) and two (after one, before three) as well as its (possessive form of it) and it's (it is.)  Let's not forget know (knowledge) and no (not yes).  The one that drives me completely up the wall are your (belongs to you), you're (you are) and yore (times long past).  Seriously?  People don't know that yore is a word that's pretty much obsolete unless you're a poet or write medieval($) bodice rippers?  I once took a job application from a young man who left his previous job because he wasn't getting "inuff" hours.  He didn't get any hours at our place either.  Another application stated the applicant wanted to be "traned in magemen."  We decided to pass on him too.  If you're on a diet, you lose weight, not loose it.  Loose is how your clothes fit at the end of your diet.  When your children's fighting gets out of control, it escalates, not escalades.  An Escalade is an obnoxious vehicle manufactured by Cadillac that people my parent's age drive.  And park in two spaces.  There is no such word as alot.  It's either a misspelling of allot (assign, set aside) or a lot (a great amount.)  Where is a place, were is not.  Were is what you used to be.  Or the first part of the word that names guys who turn into slavering($), crazed wolfmen who kill indiscriminately.  I am not alone in bemoaning($) the sad state of our language.  I have several friends who also cringe when they hear or read someone botching($) it.  They even bust me on occasion.  I have been known to confuse whose (possesive form of who) and who's (who is.)  I created a nifty Facebook note called "Guess Whose Coming to Dinner" and was immediately called out on it.  How disconcerting($) to be caught doing the annoying thing that I find so annoying in others!  (Lady Wendy you know who you are!)  English is our language, why can't we speak it?  People speaking badly.

Cars That Take Two Spaces And Other Parking Snafu's

American culture is practically built around cars.  Henry Ford perfected mass production and our love affair was off and running.  Getting our driver's license is a milestone because it means freedom.  Freedon for cruising, dating, and going wherever we want without having to get a ride.  Getting our first car is another milestone.  At last, a vehicle that belongs to us and not one shared with an overprotective parent who gripes if the mirrors are moved and the radio is changed!  Our cars become extensions of our personalities with personalized plates, paint jobs, decals and accessories.  We love our cars like we love members of our families and some people treat their cars better than their family members!  All those places we like to go usually have parking lots and parking lots are where people can really behave badly.  One of the places I like to go has narrow parking places.  Basically, they're trying to cram in as many cars as possible in a fairly small lot, but if people pay attention and park carefully, this isn't a problem.  Instead, someone will just whip into a parking place willy nilly with their tires on or even over the line so the car parking next to them will have to either squeeze up next to them or park over the line in their space as well.  This causes a chain reaction down the row and the last space ends up being unusable because the first guy was too lazy to park correctly.  Plus, the problem isn't rectified when the offending car leaves since all the cars in the row are off kilter.  It just keeps happening over and over as new cars pull in and try to park.  What's up with the people who feel the need to park right in front of the door and block it while waiting for someone inside?  It apparently doesn't occur to them that they're impeding traffic, both the foot kind and the vehicular kind.  They can't pull into a space and drive to the door when their party comes outside?  Although not in a lot, street parking has its share of annoyances.  I hate driving down the street and encountering people who have parked on the wrong side.  In case you're wondering what that means, it's when you park on the left side of the street facing oncoming traffic.  People who do this have to cross traffic to park and again when they leave.  It happens all the time at the mailboxes in my neighborhood.  People think "Oh, I'm only going to be a minute!"  Unfortunately, the mailbox is a high traffic area and I feel as if I take my life in my hands whenever I pick up mail!  The worst parking offense is the people who take more than one space intentionally.  It always seems to happen when the lot is overflowing and everyone is driving around in circles looking for an empty spot.  And it's ALWAYS someone who drives a fancy schmancy vehicle that's been waxed pleather pants shiny with a lot of custom work thrown in.  Apparently, their car is too precious for them to park next to the mediocre vehicles owned by the rest of us and risk getting dinged.  I used to work with a woman who was like that.  She drove a cute little sporty BMW and took up two spots everywhere she went.  At the mall, the grocery store, her kid's school, the doctor's office, everywhere.  One year, during the Christmas shopping frenzy, she pulled her little parking trick in the parking garage at a major shopping center.  When she came back out to her car, to her horror, she discovered her cute little sporty BMW had been keyed.  Repeatedly.  Although I'm not condoning the vandalism, I am not ashamed to admit I felt a tiny spark of glee that she had gotten what she deserved.  Basically, if your car is too priceless for you to park it correctly, leave it at home.  No one is impressed with it or your pretentious behaviour.  Really.  People behaving badly.

Gym Etiquette

A large part of the healthy lifestyle so many of us are living is going to the gym.  My husband and I are no exception.  We joined our local gym even before it opened.  One day, we were walking past an empty building and noticed a sign advertising a gym opening soon.  The owner was there and invited us inside and took us on a "tour" of what would be there when all the remodeling was finished.  We signed up and became the 5th and 6th members of a now thriving fitness facility that's been open for a decade.  Our gym has a large variety of equipment from elliptical machines to treadmills and both free weights and machines as well as a speed bag and a punching bag.  There are  bootcamp, step, spinning and yoga classes.  This variety attracts a variety of clientele.  Everyone from kids still in high school to senior citizens all feel comfortable working out.  If you've been going to a gym for awhile, you're probably aware of a thing called "gym etiquette."  That's the behavior that makes sweatily exercising right next to someone else bearable.  Most people instinctively understand how to behave, but there are a few that have no clue.  My husband likes to call them meatheads.  Usually he means a select few of the muscle guys, but not always.  On the treadmill next to me once was a woman leisurely walking, carrying on a long, extended conversation on her cell phone with her boyfriend.  Lots of kissy noises and baby talk.  I couldn't crank my mp3 loud enough!  There was also a sign right in front of her banning cell phone usage.  Our gym has three sizes of lockers, full sized, half sized and third sized.  There are plenty of smaller ones, but only a few full sized.  During busy times, it's next to impossible to get a full sized, so I cram my bag, shoes, towel and coat into a small one.  Invariably, one of the full sized lockers will be taken by someone with a tiny little bag and nothing else.  Why do they feel the need to take a big locker?  Our gym has six benches in the free weight area that are premium real estate.  Sometimes guys will come in and put their towel, water bottle, gym bag (get a locker!) and workout log on one bench while using another.  They never seem to notice all the other people waiting for a bench.  These are usually the same guys who stand directly in front of the dumbbell rack doing reps while completely blocking anyone else from using the other dumbbells.  I also don't understand the guys who tie up two machines for an hour at a time, loading them with as much weight as the machines will hold, all the while looking around to see who is looking at them.  They don't actually ever seem to lift any of that weight, they just want everyone to think they are.  I'd be more impressed if they did their reps and freed up the machines.  My all time biggest gym peeve is guys who don't rack their weights when they're finished.  What does that mean?  It means when you're finished with a machine or piece of equipment, unload the weight plates you put on it and put them back where they belong.  Not on the floor next to the machine, not leaning up against the wall, and not left on the machine itself.  It's a huge imposition for a senior or small woman to have to remove 270 pounds from the bench press when they only want to lift the 45 pound bar!  Notice I said put the weights back where they belong?  The 45 pound plates go with other 45's, not on top of the 25's and the dumbbells are racked in order, not helter skelter whichever space is closest to you.  The large sign that says "Rack your weights when you're finished" isn't just for decoration.  People behaving badly.

Ball Teams in Restaurants

Every summer here in the Midwest, and maybe in your neck of the woods as well, there is a phenomena known as youth ball teams.  Organized groups of young boys and girls are signed up to learn the fundamentals of the game as well as good sportsmanship, respect, teamwork, practice, and dependability.  They play other organized teams in their area and at the end of the season, there is a big tournament.  Sometimes, teams from other areas travel here to play in this tournament.  The tournament is an all day affair, sometimes an all weekend affair, with winners of games playing winners of other games and the losers going home in defeat.  Now, being an all day event with the possibility of a short turn around between games, I would think that the families of the players would arrive at the ball park with a game plan for lunch.  A cooler stashed in the car with the makings for a picnic perhaps?  Cleverly locating where the nearest sandwich shop or fast food joint is?  Bringing enough cash to purchase concessions from the ball park itself?  Instead, all too often, I see entire teams and their families decend on a casual dining restaurant with a limited amount of time to spend for lunch.  The first person to arrive usually has no idea how many people are in their party which makes it difficult, if not impossible, to determine where to seat them.  No one ever over estimates how many people are in the party so if the table is set up to seat 30, invariably 36 will show up and the last to arrive will be outraged that the restaurant didn't set up enough seats and will demand that another table of customers be moved to accomodate them because they're IN A HURRY!  The kids almost always sit away from their parents.  This, by itself, is not a problem since the parents usually identify their offspring by their jersey number.  However, their kids will often order something that the parents don't want them to have and when it arrives, they will verbally berate the server.  It never occurs to them that the server has no idea what the kid is allowed or not allowed to have.  What is common in one family is not common in another.  It takes some time to take the orders of 30 plus people, more time than it takes for a table of 4 and it takes more time to ring them in as well as for the kitchen to prepare all those orders.  Usually, even before the last order is taken, someone from the table very irritably demands to know how much longer it's going to take to get their food, because they're IN A HURRY!  As the servers are desperatly trying to ring in all this food, another parent will come up to the computer to complain that their kid has had an empty drink for the last five minutes.  They don't mention that their kid chugged the drink as soon as it was set in front of them.  They probably don't know this since they're sitting at the other end of the table.  (Here's a fun fact about kid sized drinks: Those colorful kid cups look to be about half the size of adult drinks, but most of them are actually 12 oz. while adult drinks are only 16 oz.  A 4 oz. difference which is in fact only half a cup.  Now you know why your kid won't eat his meal after downing two or three drinks.)  Finally the table gets their food and, of course, someone complains because they didn't know their order had tomatos or guacamole or cheese or something else that is very clearly stated in the menu.  But, since they're IN A HURRY, they can't afford to wait for something else to be made so they sit and loudly complain about what a horrible restuarant this is and they didn't want to come here anyway.  Last, but not least, is the seperate check fiasco.  Seperate checks are not a problem in most cases.  Ball teams are not most cases.  Trying to get the right kid on the right ticket, dealing with the parent who doesn't want to pay for the chocolate shake that junior ordered and drank, removing the order that had the offending tomato, guac, cheese, etc. on it, running multiple credit cards, making change for the cash payers, including the guy who only has a $100 bill for his $9 ticket and is IN A HURRY, all take time.  We're talking about dealing with money here.  After the team has cleared out, all too often the servers discover that they've been left a stingy tip or no tip at all.  The parents seem to think that the restaurant is thrilled to have their business.  Yes and no.  Yes, they're happy to have any business, but weekends are already busy for most places and if the lot is full of multiple cars for one group, other customers will go somewhere else.  No favors are being done here.  It ends up being a stressful situation for everyone. Remember those lessons in good sportsmanship and respect?  Kids will copy what they see their parents do.  People behaving badly.