Planes, Trains and Other Such

Traveling equals vacation, adventure, relaxation, and good times right?  I wish.  Don't get me wrong, I love to visit other places and experience different cultures.  I love trying new food, meeting new people, and seeing the wonders of somewhere that are completely different from home.  It's the process of getting there that's become unbearable and it's not the transportation industry's fault, it's my fellow travelers.  Post 9-11, air travel has become more regimented with security requirements firmly in place.  There are acceptable forms of ID, body scanners, baggage limits, and long lines.  There have always been boarding procedures.  None of it is a surprise and detailed instructions can be found with a minimum amount of research.  Yet, without fail, someone always shows up at the airport without ID, with a giant oversize bag that must be checked, or without enough time to get through security to make their flight.  And without fail, they make a huge scene and hold up the process for everyone else.  Trust me, no one else wants to listen to you rant about a situation that you've created yourself.  Planes are tight spaces with people packed inside like sardines.  Why do some women feel it necessary to bathe in perfume?  What smells lovely to you smells old lady or cheap hooker to other people.  Not the sexy impression you were trying to give I'll bet.  Some people are extra sensitive to scent as well.  Perfumes cause migraines for some people, nausea for others, and no one wants to be next to someone whose scent is so strong they can taste it.  How about you just smell clean?  There's also limited storage space on planes.  I was recently on a flight where a couple had used the overhead bins for two tiny fanny packs that would have easily fit under the seat in front of them.  They also didn't want to stack them so other people could use the overhead space.  Really?  How selfish and self centered are you that you can't share?  If it's small enough to slide under the seat, put it there.  This same flight had a woman who had a giant backpack, a purse, a tote bag, and two shopping bags that she tried carrying on.  I guess she thought that the one carry on per person rule didn't apply to her.  Getting her extras checked held the boarding process up and standing in a line pressed up against the people in front of me for 7 minutes was exactly what I wanted to do right then.  Another thing I don't want to deal with (and neither does anyone else) is your kids fighting, shouting, crying, or kicking the back of my seat.  Yes, I know they're just kids, I know they're bored, I know they're excited, I know they're tired.  So is everyone else.  You brought them on the plane, it's your job to handle them.  Let them know ahead of time what kind of behavior is expected, bring stuff to keep them occupied, and pay attention to what they're doing.  I realize that kids will be kids, I just want you, as the parent, to step in when they get out of hand.  If they (or you) aren't mature enough to travel, maybe you should think twice about subjecting them to it.  My favorite type of traveler is the Ugly American and I've seen plenty of them.  They're the people who think everything should be just like it is at home.  They complain, while visiting other countries, that the seats are too small at the airports, there aren't free refills on beverages, there aren't bacon and eggs for breakfast, the Holiday Inn at Disney had better accommodations because it had a pool, no one has Bud Light, cars are too small, and (gasp!) people in other countries don't speak English!  You can almost always tell they're American because they're wearing tennis shoes and baseball caps, no matter where they are, and somehow believe that if they just speak louder, then the person they're talking to will miraculously understand English.  I find myself wondering why in the world did they decide to visit?  People behaving badly.

Parenting Is Not For Wimps

What is it with parents who don't want to be parents?  I don't mean people who never wanted kids and had an oopsie, I mean people who have kids and don't want to deal with the responsibility of raising them.  People who are so caught up in their own self interest that their kids get the short end of the stick.  Yesterday I had a woman and her little boy sit in my section.  She was on her phone when she came in and didn't hang up for 10 minutes.  At first, I thought it was an important call and didn't want to interrupt, but it soon became apparent that she was just gabbing with a friend while her kid sat there bored to death, fidgeting.  Finally, I was able to get an order when she did hang up.  Instead of engaging her child, she pulled out her ipad and played with that until they left.  As they were leaving, she was back on her phone.  Really?  You can't talk to your kid for just 20 minutes?  Once, I was shopping at a large store and there was a pack of unattended kids racing around shrieking and throwing things at each other.  After getting hit, I told them to knock it off.  The oldest little girl informed me she didn't have to do what I said because I wasn't her Mother.  Turns out, they were all siblings and Mom and Dad were shopping for themselves and left the kids to their own devices, where they terrorized everyone else.  Had that been me as a child, there would have been an unfortunate incident in the bathroom. (Or maybe the car, where equally unfortunate incidents occurred.)  Mom and Dad, when confronted about the antics of their offspring, seemed amazed that other people didn't let their kids run around like monkeys on crack and that none of us wanted to be pelted with their crap.  "But, they're just having fun" they kept saying.  Yeah, and horseback riding is fun for me but I don't do it in a store.  Last week, I watched a Dad and three little (and I mean little) boys come in for lunch.  Dad was so busy watching sports on his phone, he couldn't get the baby in his highchair, or watch him so everything from silverware to crayons to the salt shaker to drinks were thrown in the floor.  (Such a delight for the table next to them.)  When the oldest one had to go to the bathroom, he left the baby and the 3 year old at the table by themselves!  Of course, the baby started screaming.  Another server and I sat with them until Dad came back, amazed that a baby and a toddler couldn't be left alone for 10 minutes.  Seriously?!  This guy couldn't even tear himself away from ESPN long enough to help the server with passing out food to his kids.  (Guess where the baby's ended up?)  Buddy, you helped make them, it's your job to take care of them.  I found myself wondering how this guy got up in the morning, got dressed and made it to work without his wife's help. He probably didn't. People behaving badly.

Sports, the New Religion?

Sports are our nation's national pastime.  We sign our kids up for organized sports to teach them important things like sportsmanship, respect, hard work, being part of a team, and winning and losing gracefully.  For the most part, the kids get it.  The adults, well, not so much.  I've begun to think that too many people view sports, on all levels - high school, college, and professional, as a religion.  As I've mentioned before, I live on the border of two states.  Each one has a major state university with a massive sports program.  The rivalry between the two schools is unbelievable.  I've lived in several different states and even in a different country, but I've never seen a rivalry like this.  Grown adults make some very nasty comments in all seriousness.  One school is derided for being attended by mentally deficient hicks who have incestuous relationships with their siblings while the other is looked down on for being populated by drug cartel gangsters.  I've seen countless discussion groups seriously debating these "facts."  Ironically, both schools have named their teams after guerrilla terrorist groups from the Civil War.  Nice huh?  During the various seasons, you would think the fate of the world lay in the balance depending on which team was going to win by the way some of those adults behave.  Most of them didn't even attend either school!  One of my sisters in law is a professor at a small college.  She has a masters degree in theater and teaches drama.  Several years ago, she had a couple of boys with athletic scholarships take her class.  One showed up for class on the first day and on the day of the final where he signed his name to the test and turned it in blank. The other came to class, sat in the back and slept the entire period.  Both of them failed the class. (Duh!)  This caused a major ruckus on campus.  The boys' coach stormed into her office and demanded to know "just what in the hell she thought she was doing" since a failing grade benched those players.  She explained what they had done in her class to earn their grades and the coach informed her she couldn't fail his players because of how much money the sports program brought into the school.  It came out that the boys took her class because they thought it would be an easy class where they wouldn't have to do any work.  When my sister in law refused to change their grades, the college changed their records to indicate the boys had never been in her class.  This is a small college.  I can only imagine what it's like in bigger universities.  Then there is the whole "football is war" philosophy.  Bear Bryant, Kellen Winslow II, Sam Huff, Vince Lombardi and many, many others have used that analogy over the years.  Really?  Football is war?!  How does getting paid exorbitant sums of money to PLAY A GAME in front of thousands of fans dressed in team colors with pretty girls waving pom poms and cheering them on compare to a unit of infantry soldiers wearing body armor, carrying assault weapons, patrolling a combat zone where people are actively trying to kill them?  All while they're far away from home and family.  There is no comparison and it is incredibly arrogant to suggest it.  The incident that makes me the angriest is the Penn State scandal.  A grown man was caught in the act of having sex with a little boy in the locker room shower.  The 28 year old witness asked his daddy for advice instead of contacting the authorities.  Daddy told him to tell Joe Paterno.  Instead of contacting the authorities, Joe told the athletic director.  Same thing happened all the way up the chain of command to the University President.  Not one of them stepped up and did the right thing by reporting Jerry Sandusky to the authorities.  Instead, they took away his keys. Why?  Because the football program at Penn State, like many other universities, is a huge business, generating a massive amount of revenue for the school.  Protecting the bottom line became the focus instead of protecting children.  When the scandal broke and Joe Paterno was fired, the students rioted and Penn State fans were outraged.  How dare they fire Joe-Pa?  No one seemed to give a damn about Sandusky's victims.  They were too busy worshiping at the alter of the football program.  And that's what created the environment that allowed Jerry Sandusky to molest little boys in the first place.  A pseudo religion is what these sports have become.  Pseudo means false, fake, phony, mock, contrived.  Be careful that you don't worship false gods.  People behaving badly.