Planes, Trains and Other Such

Traveling equals vacation, adventure, relaxation, and good times right?  I wish.  Don't get me wrong, I love to visit other places and experience different cultures.  I love trying new food, meeting new people, and seeing the wonders of somewhere that are completely different from home.  It's the process of getting there that's become unbearable and it's not the transportation industry's fault, it's my fellow travelers.  Post 9-11, air travel has become more regimented with security requirements firmly in place.  There are acceptable forms of ID, body scanners, baggage limits, and long lines.  There have always been boarding procedures.  None of it is a surprise and detailed instructions can be found with a minimum amount of research.  Yet, without fail, someone always shows up at the airport without ID, with a giant oversize bag that must be checked, or without enough time to get through security to make their flight.  And without fail, they make a huge scene and hold up the process for everyone else.  Trust me, no one else wants to listen to you rant about a situation that you've created yourself.  Planes are tight spaces with people packed inside like sardines.  Why do some women feel it necessary to bathe in perfume?  What smells lovely to you smells old lady or cheap hooker to other people.  Not the sexy impression you were trying to give I'll bet.  Some people are extra sensitive to scent as well.  Perfumes cause migraines for some people, nausea for others, and no one wants to be next to someone whose scent is so strong they can taste it.  How about you just smell clean?  There's also limited storage space on planes.  I was recently on a flight where a couple had used the overhead bins for two tiny fanny packs that would have easily fit under the seat in front of them.  They also didn't want to stack them so other people could use the overhead space.  Really?  How selfish and self centered are you that you can't share?  If it's small enough to slide under the seat, put it there.  This same flight had a woman who had a giant backpack, a purse, a tote bag, and two shopping bags that she tried carrying on.  I guess she thought that the one carry on per person rule didn't apply to her.  Getting her extras checked held the boarding process up and standing in a line pressed up against the people in front of me for 7 minutes was exactly what I wanted to do right then.  Another thing I don't want to deal with (and neither does anyone else) is your kids fighting, shouting, crying, or kicking the back of my seat.  Yes, I know they're just kids, I know they're bored, I know they're excited, I know they're tired.  So is everyone else.  You brought them on the plane, it's your job to handle them.  Let them know ahead of time what kind of behavior is expected, bring stuff to keep them occupied, and pay attention to what they're doing.  I realize that kids will be kids, I just want you, as the parent, to step in when they get out of hand.  If they (or you) aren't mature enough to travel, maybe you should think twice about subjecting them to it.  My favorite type of traveler is the Ugly American and I've seen plenty of them.  They're the people who think everything should be just like it is at home.  They complain, while visiting other countries, that the seats are too small at the airports, there aren't free refills on beverages, there aren't bacon and eggs for breakfast, the Holiday Inn at Disney had better accommodations because it had a pool, no one has Bud Light, cars are too small, and (gasp!) people in other countries don't speak English!  You can almost always tell they're American because they're wearing tennis shoes and baseball caps, no matter where they are, and somehow believe that if they just speak louder, then the person they're talking to will miraculously understand English.  I find myself wondering why in the world did they decide to visit?  People behaving badly.

Parenting Is Not For Wimps

What is it with parents who don't want to be parents?  I don't mean people who never wanted kids and had an oopsie, I mean people who have kids and don't want to deal with the responsibility of raising them.  People who are so caught up in their own self interest that their kids get the short end of the stick.  Yesterday I had a woman and her little boy sit in my section.  She was on her phone when she came in and didn't hang up for 10 minutes.  At first, I thought it was an important call and didn't want to interrupt, but it soon became apparent that she was just gabbing with a friend while her kid sat there bored to death, fidgeting.  Finally, I was able to get an order when she did hang up.  Instead of engaging her child, she pulled out her ipad and played with that until they left.  As they were leaving, she was back on her phone.  Really?  You can't talk to your kid for just 20 minutes?  Once, I was shopping at a large store and there was a pack of unattended kids racing around shrieking and throwing things at each other.  After getting hit, I told them to knock it off.  The oldest little girl informed me she didn't have to do what I said because I wasn't her Mother.  Turns out, they were all siblings and Mom and Dad were shopping for themselves and left the kids to their own devices, where they terrorized everyone else.  Had that been me as a child, there would have been an unfortunate incident in the bathroom. (Or maybe the car, where equally unfortunate incidents occurred.)  Mom and Dad, when confronted about the antics of their offspring, seemed amazed that other people didn't let their kids run around like monkeys on crack and that none of us wanted to be pelted with their crap.  "But, they're just having fun" they kept saying.  Yeah, and horseback riding is fun for me but I don't do it in a store.  Last week, I watched a Dad and three little (and I mean little) boys come in for lunch.  Dad was so busy watching sports on his phone, he couldn't get the baby in his highchair, or watch him so everything from silverware to crayons to the salt shaker to drinks were thrown in the floor.  (Such a delight for the table next to them.)  When the oldest one had to go to the bathroom, he left the baby and the 3 year old at the table by themselves!  Of course, the baby started screaming.  Another server and I sat with them until Dad came back, amazed that a baby and a toddler couldn't be left alone for 10 minutes.  Seriously?!  This guy couldn't even tear himself away from ESPN long enough to help the server with passing out food to his kids.  (Guess where the baby's ended up?)  Buddy, you helped make them, it's your job to take care of them.  I found myself wondering how this guy got up in the morning, got dressed and made it to work without his wife's help. He probably didn't. People behaving badly.