If You're Not Ready To Order, Say So

Americans do like to go out to eat.  We love going to a place where not only will they cook your food and bring it to you, but they'll wash the dishes too!  I'm no exception.  It's a real treat to go out to a nice restaurant with my husband, have a glass of wine and catch up on our day while someone else does all the work.  With fewer and fewer people actually knowing how to cook, there are more and more people wanting to eat out and more and more restaurants to accommodate them.  There is almost an entire generation of kids who's normal is eating out.  It seems as if the only time they get a home cooked meal is Thanksgiving and even that's not a sure thing.  Most people who eat out know how to behave in a public environment, but there are others who seem to believe they are European Nobility who must be waited on hand and foot by the minions who serve them.  It's not uncommon to have a server greet a table with a friendly "Hi, how are you tonight?" and have the diner respond with "Diet Coke" in a monotone without even looking up from the menu.  If the server can make an effort to be friendly, why is it so hard for the person at the table to make the same effort?  Just because you had a bad day at work does not make it OK to be rude.  If you need more time to look over the menu and decide what you'd like, say so. Don't keep the server standing there waiting on you.  It's a sure bet that they have refills to get, another table to greet and someone else wanting to pay their bill.  It's self centered to make them  put all their other tables on hold while you pour over every item on the menu because you're afraid they won't be back at the exact moment you're finally ready to order.  It also amazes me that people seem so surprised when they decide to go out to eat on a Friday or Saturday night and the restaurant is on a wait.  Guess what?  Everyone wants to go out on Friday and Saturday night!  Don't be nasty to the 16 year old girl taking names, it's not her fault you decided to come out at the same time everyone else did.  If the restaurant uses those little vibrating pagers, please don't give it to your toddler to hold while you chat with your friends.  If it goes off, your kid thinks his neat toy just got neater, he has no idea your table is ready.  Chances are if you don't respond after a few pages, they'll give your table to the next name.  We all know how that's going to go over, don't we?  The time quoted to you for your wait is not an exact science either.  It's an educated guess based on how many names are on the list and how long previous tables waited.  If you were quoted 20 minutes and it's been 25, don't get huffy.  Being hateful to a 16 year old is petty.  The host can't make people get up and leave who have decided to camp.  No one cares that you have a four year old in your party who's hungry and cranky.  Your lack of planning doesn't make it anyone else's emergency.  You also need to be aware that you need to give up your table to all the other people waiting when you're finished.  Someone close to me forgets what she's ordered by the time our food arrives.  The poor food runner stands there saying "BBQ Chicken Salad?" while she looks around at everyone else.  When we tell her it's hers, she adamantly denies it.  How do you forget what you ordered in the span of 10 minutes?  If you have a coupon, present it when you order.  If there are restrictions, don't get hateful about it.  Those restrictions are usually printed right on the coupon itself, read it!  I once went to brunch with a group of people I didn't know well.  Two of them  were put on the same ticket and asked for separate checks after the fact.  It was an older system that required a lengthy void procedure so the server just divided their ticket by hand.  Each of them paid by credit card and got a separate receipt, but they acted as if they were massively inconvenienced, complaining loudly.  Really?  You were able to pay separately, so what's the problem?  I won't be going anywhere with them again.  Don't tap your fork on your glass to get the server's attention and don't whistle at them.  You're not in a beer commercial and they're not a dog.  If you ask for something say please.  If you receive something say thank you.  We teach little kids to do this, why is it so difficult for so many adults to do it?  People behaving badly.