The Express Lane Means Express

Since everyone likes to eat, most of us make regular trips to the grocery store.  Heck, a lot of grocery stores have whole sections devoted to salad bars and hot meals, so you don't even have to cook to eat.  Plus they carry everything else from wine to motor oil to birthday cakes so there's something for everyone.  It really shouldn't be a surprise to me that people behave poorly while they're shopping, but somehow, it always is.  What is it with people who park their cart in the center of the aisle, blocking traffic, while they read labels or rifle through their coupons to find the one for whatever product they're standing in front of?  Other people with carts end up backed up on both sides of them while they continuously stand there, oblivious to the world around them.  They're always so surprised when they finally notice or someone says "excuse me."  Seriously?  You're so unaware of your surroundings that you don't notice 5 other people within 6 feet of you?  I also can't stand the people who put something in their cart and then change their mind about it somewhere else in the store so they just put the item on whatever shelf is closest.  Hey, that's right, the bread shelf is exactly where that can of Raid should go. Don't worry about poisoning any of the rest of us. How difficult is it to walk yourself back to the right location and put it away?  Apparently pretty difficult.  From what I've seen, on a scale of 1 to 10, it's impossible.  I absolutely cannot stand to get behind the people who want to carry on a long conversation with the cashier at checkout.  I don't mean the people who are friendly and chat while their purchase is being scanned.  That's actually a nice thing to do.  I mean the people who have known the cashier since she was 4 and want to catch up on every detail of her (or her family's) life since the last time they saw her.  It's always during a busy time when every line is backed up with full carts three and four deep and this bozo wants to know who the girl is dating and how her mother's hysterectomy went.  You can't make a phone call to catch up?  You have to do it right this very minute while the rest of us are glaring daggers at you and you don't see that the poor cashier is trying to be polite but clearly wants you to move on?  Really?  What is wrong with the people who see a sign for something on sale and pick up the item right next to it?  They then pitch a hissy fit at checkout because the cashier rang it up "wrong."  No, you're just a moron and either can't read or you're trying to pull a fast one.  If brand X is on sale, that doesn't mean brand Z is because it's on the same shelf.  And then there are the people who want to take 40 items through the express lane because they're all the same.  I'm sorry (ok, no I'm not), 40 cans of tuna doesn't count as 1 item!  Who do you think you're kidding?   How about people who can't put their cart in the cart corral in the parking lot when they've finished with it?  They just leave it sitting there where it rolls into other people's cars and takes up parking spaces.  You'd think that the corral is located all the way on the other side of the lot, at least 200 yards away, instead of conveniently located every 10 spaces.  How lazy are you to be unable to drive an empty shopping cart 20 feet and put it in the corral?  People behaving badly.